


pinedemic

by zarahjoyce



Series: Game of Texts [5]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Humor, I'm so sorry for this, Oops, Sorry Jon, THE RETURN OF GROUP TEXTS, group chats, home quarantining fics? a thing now, like really sorry, text fics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-04-09
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:55:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23561932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zarahjoyce/pseuds/zarahjoyce
Summary: Bran:woW thanks Jon, you can't even last five minutes without asking about her????Jon:Uh... sorry?Theon:I think what Jon means to say is what the fuck?Arya:we had a bet. Five bucks say that Jon can't last five minutes without asking about SansaArya:Obviously, I WoNArya:Because Jon is such a lovesick SOB OF COURSE he's gonna ask about herTheon:PINING DURING A PANDEMIC. IS THERE A MORE SADDER TALE OF A LOVE SEPARATED NOT BY DESTINY, BUT BY TINY DROPLETS OF AIRBORNE HYPER DEATH FLU PARTICLES OF DOOM???
Relationships: Jon Snow/Sansa Stark
Series: Game of Texts [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1382317
Comments: 33
Kudos: 156





	pinedemic

_**Arya Stark created a group chat  
  
Arya Stark named the group chat "Theon Greyjoy wash your fucking"**_  
  
 **Arya:** OKAY SO apparently there's a limit to the characters up there   
  
**Arya:** IT'S SUPPOSED TO END IN 'HANDS'  
  
 **Bran:** The beauty in it is that it can apply to anything  
  
 **Bran:** hair? yes  
  
 **Bran:** feet? yes  
  
 **Bran:** face? GOD YES  
  
 **Theon:** Next time I see you kids I'm gonna sneeze in your GENERAL DIRECTION  
  
 **Bran:** Is that a threat? I feel threatened  
  
 **Theon:** COUGH COUGH MOTHERFUCKERS  
  
 **Bran:** 911 I'd like to report a murderer on the loose  
  
 **Arya:** JUST TRY IT, I'M GONNA RIP YOUR FUCKING EYES OUT  
  
 **Theon:** and break golden rule of social distancing? GASP  
 **  
** **Arya:** IT'LL BE WORTH IT **  
  
Jon:** If it helps, I'm spraying Lysol at everything Greyjoy touches just to be on the safe side  
  
 **Theon:** thereby WASTING VALUABLE RESOURCES!!!   
  
**Theon:** WE BOTH KNOW I HAVEN'T BEEN OUT OF THIS HOUSE FOR AS LONG AS YOU YOU DICK  
  
 **Jon:** anyway  
  
 **Jon:** How are you guys holding up  
  
 **Arya:** oh, you know, same old same old  
  
 **Arya:** caught up with all the shows over at netflix  
  
 **Bran:** still trying to grasp the truth that our current existence is now a mere shadow and that if we do break out of this cocoon of sickness human interaction as we know it might evolve into another form where touch is no longer something freely given even between loved ones except between two or more individuals willing to accept the consequences of possibly DYING TOGETHER AFTERWARDS   
  
**Theon:** hweh  
  
 **Bran:** this pandemic is really just proof that everything??? EVERYTHING IS FAKE. WORK IS FAKE. TIME? IS FAKE. WHO IS THAT. I DON'T KNOW HER. i eat breakfast three nanoseconds after waking up now. There is no AM or PM.  
  
 **Jon:** ...Bran?  
  
 **Bran:** otherwise we're fine  
  
 **Arya:** OHMYGOD you should see him spout this bullshit in person  
  
 **Arya:** although actually you CAN, Bran has caved and now has Tiktok lmao  
  
 **Bran:** You know what else I have? Pictures of you without makeup. I wonder what Gendry would think if I send him one  
  
 **Arya:** YOu WOULDN'T FUCKING DARE  
  
 **Bran:** :3  
  
 **Jon:** So, uh. Is Sansa... there? I mean. Is she fine?  
  
 **Arya:** HAHAHAHA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA **  
  
** **Theon:**???  
  
 **Bran:** woW thanks Jon, you can't even last five minutes without asking about her???? **  
**  
 **Jon:** Uh... sorry?  
  
 **Theon:** I think what Jon means to say is what the fuck?  
  
 **Theon:** A sentiment I can readily identify with, actually  
  
 **Arya:** we had a bet. Five bucks say that Jon can't last five minutes without asking about Sansa  
  
 **Arya:** Obviously, I WoN **  
  
** **Arya:** Because Jon is such a lovesick SOB OF COURSE he's gonna ask about her  
 **  
Theon:** PINING DURING A PANDEMIC. IS THERE A MORE SADDER TALE OF A LOVE SEPARATED NOT BY DESTINY, BUT BY TINY DROPLETS OF AIRBORNE HYPER DEATH FLU PARTICLES OF DOOM???  
  
 **Jon:**...right.  
  
 **Jon:** But she's fine, though? I mean.   
  
**Bran:** Yeah she's great.  
  
 **Arya:** Been doing a lot of DIY alcogels and some such lately  
  
 **Arya:** She's even trying to do this thing about getting her bras to work as makeshift face masks, in case we run out of the normal variety  
  
 **Jon:** her uh ???  
  
 **Arya:** You can say bra, Jon, it's not gonna emasculate you  
  
 **Arya:** Jesus  
 **  
Theon:** Yeah no, that's not the problem with that statement L M A O   
  
**Arya:** Then what is?????  
  
 **Theon:** Well you said 'bra' in relation to 'Sansa' which brings to Jon's mind her funbags. ladyhumps. frontal globular fun fruits.   
  
**Jon:** ThaT IS NOT   
  
**Theon:** mammalian protuberances  
  
 **Bran:** I REGRET READING THAT WITH MY FOUR EYES  
  
 **Theon:** hooties, jubblies, tig ol bitties  
  
 **Arya:** DID YOU JUST FUCKING GOOGLE SLANG FOR BREASTS????  
  
 **Theon:** https://urbanthesaurus.org/synonyms/breasts  
  
 **Theon:** knowledge??? is power.  
  
 **Theon:** ALSO I got the time so.  
  
 **Bran:** I CANNOT BELIEVE  
  
 **Bran:** wait actually I can, it's THEON  
  
 **Theon:** I'll take that as a compliment  
  
 **Bran:** D U D E  
  
 **Theon:** I AM SO FUCKING STARVED OF HUMAN INTERACTION OKAY? JUST LET ME GET A SLIGHT SEMBLANCE OF NORMALCY FOR ONE TINY SECOND, EVEN IF IT IS FROM THE THOUGHT OF BRAN STARK LOOKING DOWN ON ME AS HE OFT DOES  
  
 **Theon:** DO YOU GUYS EVER JUST THINK THAT WE MAY NEVER SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN??? THAT OUR LAST PERSONAL INTERACTION WAS WHEN I POURED MILK ALL OVER ROBB'S DESK AND WE ALL LAUGHED??? EXCEPR ROBB TRIED TO KILLED ME? THAT THAT MIGHT BE THE LAST TIME I HEAR YOUR VOICES OUTSIDE OF VIDEOCALLS???? AND THAT I HAVE NEEDS AND I MISS YOU????   
  
**Arya:** JESUS, CHILL  
  
 **Theon:** Yeah so whatsup  
  
 **Jon:** ANYWAY. It's my turn to do the groceries for me and Theon. Do you guys need anything? Arya? Bran? Does Sansa need anything?  
  
 **Arya:** Yeah something to cover her splorkblats, Jon, that'll be great  
  
 **Jon:**...Arya  
  
 **Theon:** Just get me the usual stuff but also get us more toilet paper  
  
 **Jon:** Did you already use up the rolls I bought a few days ago?  
  
 **Theon:** No  
  
 **Theon:** Just thinking you might need them later when you think about Sansa **  
  
** **Theon:** And when you're doing your own ~DIY~ afterwards as a result  
  
 **Jon:  
  
** **Jon:** Fuck you, man **  
**


End file.
